Married Inc.

The second Founder’s Lunch was took place this past Saturday. I’d like to thank our co-hosts Pema and Noah of GigPark for finding such a great venue; it was a gorgeous day and we all enjoyed the sun and the view on the rooftop deck of the Candy Factory Lofts on Queen West. Once again we had a great turnout with lots of new faces showing up.

One of the main goals of the event is to share our experiences, learn from one another, and perhaps find ways to work together. Pema and Noah came up with a nice addition to the “tradition” by spending some time sharing their expertise on getting media coverage and government funding. If you are interested, email them and they will share some more details with you.

I especially enjoyed catching up with my Systems Design classmates, and fellow internet entrepreneurs, Amanie and Erik of ProductWiki. We have a lot in common with Amanie and Erik. Like John and I, Amanie and Erik

• are married
• run an internet startup in the consumer space
• lived with their parents while their business was getting off the ground
• worked in the valley
• graduated from the University of Waterloo

I think a Married-Inc. interview is in order…

On a final note: We are looking for a new co-host for the next event, so please contact us if you’re interested.

Thank you to all the founders that made it out to Toronto’s first Founder’s Lunch yesterday! John and I have been planning on doing this event ever since we got back from San Francisco, where we got to experience a couple Founder’s Brunches (these directly inspired our event). What makes the Founder’s Lunch different from all the other technology startup get-togethers (like demoCamp), is that it is an invitation-only event for founders of technology companies.

It was great to see some familiar faces, as well as some new ones. Keeping with my streak of crazy coincidences, one of the founders we met, George, happens to live in our condo building. I guess he had a pretty short commute. Special thanks go out to Heather, our office manager, who ordered all the food, helped with all the set up.

Last Tuesday, having breakfast in the restaurant of our hotel at around 7:30am, I ran into Emily Rimas. Emily and I went to University together, both graduating from Systems Design Engineering at Waterloo . I have seen Emily only once since we graduated in 2002, as she moved to Seattle right after we graduated.

As coincidences go, I have left out the best part, the part that makes this story so incredible, the part that made Emily’s “Gosia??!??!!” exclamation in the middle of the restaurant an understatement. You see, we weren’t in any old hotel, we were both staying at the same hotel in Gurgaon, India. (Just outside Delhi) Needless to say I was in awe for the rest of the day, and throughout our dinner together that same night. “What a small world” I kept telling myself. In a country of over a billion people, I run into friend from University!

Over the next few days, driving around India, the “small world” sadly faded away. Spending hours stuck in traffic, chauffeured around by our personal driver, I was once again reminded of the extreme poverty present in India. Inches from me, outside the air-conditioned comfort of our car, on the other side of the glass, was a constant stream of people. People living on the streets, in make-shift huts. People whose children were dirty, thin, and half-clothed. People who felt so far away that the world felt larger than it ever had.

I have always heard that India is a place of contrasts. This saying is difficult to grasp until you are thrown into the middle of it. Driving around Delhi, you pass gleaming new office towers, all glass and steel. Just outside the perfectly manicured grounds, where the gate ends, you see women with bare-foot children in their arms. Piles of garbage abound, with one or two cows invariable sitting in the middle. You drive past all of this to enter offices covered floor to ceiling with marble, brand new computer equipment and the smell of fresh paint. If you close your eyes and listen, you can hear the economy booming all around you; the sounds of construction, car horns, people typing on computers.

I find it difficult to grasp the speed at which India is changing. It really is the land of opportunity, where anything seems possible, and the twenty-somethings change jobs every 6 months because better jobs are always popping up. On our trip we met incredible companies, like GreyCells18, who managed to launch a TV channel, complete with their own content, in 7 months. Or Team Lease, which started 5 years ago and has 80,000 employees placed in India. Looking out over the Gurgaon skyline, we are told that 5 years ago, there were only 3 tall building. Today there are dozens, with that many more under construction. 20+ luxury 5-star hotels are being built in the next 2 years.

As a believer in free markets, I am optimistic that all this new wealth will eventually reach everyone and their lives will improve. However, the kind of investment needed to achieve this is astounding, and overwhelms me. The education and health systems are in shambles. Only the rich who can afford paying for private institutions get good services. Hundred of millions cannot read. Corruption is common place and accepted by all. Yet there is a sparkle of hope in most people’s eyes. Families are strong and help one another. Anyone who can studies hard, and education is placed on a pedestal far higher than that which I’ve seen in the Western world. This is surely a formula for success. I am thankful for the opportunity to watch it happen, and in my way, contribute .

This past Friday, December 7th, was the inaugural Spouse 2.0 day. I was busy working until around 9pm, so I missed observing it. Lucky for me, John missed observing it too (he was at work with me). I suppose that is one of the big advantages of working with your spouse—you can’t have ill-feelings towards their work and the way it over-powers your personal life. You are equally guilty of neglecting the fabled “work-life balance”. If you happen to be an ambitious, entrepreneurial sort, working with your spouse may be your best bet for ensuring you spend time with your loved one, and share your interests. Running your own business leaves little time or energy for pursuing “other interests”. Building your business is your other interest, and if you have time left over, you should spend it sleeping.

After the deal

Many people we meet are amazed that John & I can work together. The amazement starts with the fact we got married and started our business in the same month. It continues when we tell them that we then proceeded to live in John’s parent’s basement for 1.5 years (it was a lovely basement). Interestingly enough, after moving to San Francisco we managed to work at different companies for a total of 3 months before John joined me at Affinity Labs. It’s been 3 years now, and we’re still doing it; now at Savvica. I think we’re addicted. I have to tell John everything. I feel an innate need to have him understand me because he’s been such a huge part in my personal growth. Success in business is about taking risks, and managing the execution. I’m good at the managing part. John pushes me to take risks that I would never take on my own. As a result my professional growth is far beyond where I think I’d have gone on my own. John is my safety blanket.

Is it difficult? Sometimes. However, I wouldn’t say it is any harder than just being married and having 2 separate careers. There are just different issues to worry about. I suspect it is a lot easier than working full-time and raising kids. The secret to making it work you ask? Drum roll please …. …. …. Communication! (You can purchase this lovely book and learn all about it.) Cliché, obvious, and true. Personality helps too—two crazy type As probably won’t work that well together!

Connect with us if you’re considering on working with your spouse. I’ve heard many disaster stories. I’ve heard a few success stories.

After just a few months, PoliceLink is now the largest law enforcement portal on the web! (According to Media Metrix and Compete.com.)

Here’s our original PoliceLink Launch Post.

I’ll share some product analysis in an upcoming post, explaining how we achieved this so quickly. In the meantime, please let me know your thoughts on the community!

Happy New Year!

I’m sure anyone reading is dying to know in what fabulous way Married Inc spent their New Year’s Eve. The answer is…in bed…asleep.

Everyone always thinks that entrepreneurs lead glamorous lives. That’s part of the reason everyone wants to BE an entrepreneur, after all. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve spoken to young people, and invariably, when the questions of what they want to be when they grow up comes up, they tell me “a technology entrepreneur!”. Ok, sometimes you get the odd one who wants to be an actor, a model, or a doctor, but they’re rare these days.

I can understand the appeal. Sitting on the plane yesterday, in Hospitality class, I reflected on the fabulous life John and I have had for the past 2 years. Living in a basement, taking little salary, searching our pockets for change to go to the movies. Ah yes… Why doesn’t MTV have a Cribs show dedicated to startups again?

And then there are endless the nights and weekends spent working, instead of going out to fancy dinners and parties. Seriously, ANYONE can do that, but how many of you get to work on the 30th iteration of your business plan on a Saturday night?

To all you entrepreneurial hopefuls, all I can say is good luck. It takes a very special sort of person to sacrifice comfort and free time to embark on a new venture. The slightly crazy, overly optimistic, risk-taking kind. The kind that likes to create stuff, and label it as their own. The kind that gets bored easily doing things someone else’s way.

For the past few weeks I’ve been playing housewife. We get up in the morning, John gets dressed, I hand him his lunch on the way out, and he goes to work. I stay home. I do the laundry (my favorite chore), clean up, do groceries, cook…the traditional housewifely stuff. Oh yes, I’ve also been going to the gym almost every day. What does this sum up to? A clean home. A healthy diet. A healthy wife. A happy wife? Surprisingly, yes!

I thought I’d go bonkers staying home and not working for even a couple weeks. Much to my own dismay, I haven’t. Ok, I must admit I’ve been busy going to many, many job interviews (I finally accepted one of my job offers today…). I’ve been taking care of Nuvvo day-to-day stuff, AND the Nuvvo sale. Hey! Come to think of it, nothing much has changed, except I do everything at home in addition to everything business related. I did manage to spend the day on Tuesday shopping with a girlfriend. We went to Bloomingdales…I bought “7″ brand jeans (that Black Eyed Peas song was playing in my head). For a moment I felt like a kept woman with a sugar daddy. Except that John is younger than me. And except that I’m starting a new job in a couple weeks. AND at several times in out relationship I’ve made more money. Hmm.

I suppose this is just a failed post. I’ve attempted to fit myself into some stereotype and didn’t succeed. I guess I’m just a power-hungry career woman afterall…

By now I’m sure anyone reading this blog knows John and I are no longer working full-time on Nuvvo. John isn’t working on anything these days, actually, besides Rapleaf that is. I must report that we are both going through some serious withdrawal at this time. After all, we have spent the last two years working on Nuvvo together, every day. We shared in its ups and downs. We knew what our other half was working on, pretty much every minute of the day. We understood each other’s daily experience intimately. We grew together. Now, to a large extent that is over, and as terrifying as working with your spouse may seem to some, it was something we truly enjoyed. And miss dearly.

Why? I’m perfectly aware that to many people this much of one person, any person, would be enough to drive them to insanity. I think I’ve experienced that with previous relationships. You know, you go on your first vacation together, and by the end of the first week you wish your partner would just get lost so you can have some peace and quiet. I’ve been there. I suppose John and I have gotten to the point where being together is just like being alone, but better. Really. I’m sure some of you out there know what I mean. You’re together, there is no expectation of talking, or being anything that your “alone” self. It’s nice.

I suppose this takes the mystery out of your relationship. There is no need to even ask how your day went. To some people, mystery is a good thing. Not to me. I get enough mystery with pretty much the rest of this world’s population. Having almost no mystery with my spouse is just the way I like it.

So does lack of mystery equal lack of romance? Not really. Maybe if you get turned on by strangers… Living in San Francisco, and being surrounded by some very strange and smelly ones on the street makes me say I’m not of that camp.

In the end we’ll get past our withdrawal and I’m sure we’ll get used to our new lives of separation. We still get weekends together. And I still totally “get” everything John goes through. We can still share our love of technology… But I don’t think we’ll ever learn to like it. I think mostly everyone wants to have a partner to share their life with…well…at least one who makes them happy. If you find someone, why wouldn’t you prefer to spend your workday with him or her over some random people at your office? I guess all we can hope for is that some of those random people become real friends, and our days aren’t completely wasted with people we don’t love, or even like all that much.

Time for another installment! This time I’d like to tackle the relationship between Product Management and Development. Part 1 alluded my opinion that this relationship should be close. Anthony kindly pointed out in Part 2 that some designers think product managers should “bugger off” when it comes to imposing too much design input. That may be the case, but my personal experience suggests that most developers appreciate that sort of direction. Regardless of when product management ends, and development start, some sort of framework for working together should be established, and indeed carried over throughout all product management interactions. At least I think so…

With Nuvvo, I didn’t set out with a specific methodology in mind, but common sense simply led us in the direction of one. Agile Development. The more I’ve read and the more I’ve practiced, the more the mere thought of the good old Waterfall model makes me shudder. Please oh please don’t ever make me go back to that again! Not only does it not work well in practice, it makes one’s job boring. Too much structure strangles creativity, reduces efficiency, and makes what should be fun mundane. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t plan, and do the research required. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t treat product managers like French bureacrats, filling out templates.

Agile development appeals to me because it doesn’t assume you’ll get it right the first time. It doesn’t make you feel bad for changing course as new information becomes available. It does make you work closely with your development colleagues. It gives you a sense of accomplishment every step of the way. It acknowledges that software is not like manufacturing a nail - you don’t build the same structure over and over, within limited input constraints. Software, and especially consumer facing software, is alive, and needs a personality. It needs to change depending your customer’s ever changing wants and expectations.

So, developers, product managers, project managers, and software aficionados of the world, tell me your choice method for managing software projects and why. If it’s Agile Development, what flavor (ie Scrum). If it’s something else, why are you using it and why? Don’t be afraid to agree.

This post has nothing to do with marriage, or business. It’s just a rant in the hope that someone out there reading this will change their oh so terrible driving habits.

Driving in Toronto seems to be getting worse every month that passes by. I’m sure it’s greatly contributed to the condo building boom we’re experiencing here. It is not uncommon to be sitting in the middle of some field outside Whitby at 9pm on a Sunday. Why? Because there is an accident on the highway, in the other direction, and everyone has to stop and have a look. Seriously people, why can’t you just keep driving?

What gets me more than anything are the self-absorbed, I’m the only one that matters types. They weave across all the lanes, jumping in front of other cars, invariably slamming the brakes, and subsequently causing about a 20 car braking chain reaction. Don’t weave, you won’t get there faster, mostly because of the idiot 20 cars in front of you doing the same thing.

The chain reaction wouldn’t be all that bad if people didn’t tailgate. Tailgating doesn’t help you get there faster either. All it means is that you have to brake more often, causing everyone else to brake as well as they are all tailgating too.

And my final pet peeve has to do with passing. Please pass on the left. That’s what you’re supposed to do. It’s safer. It works well. Ok, it works well if the slow drivers stay to the right lane. And no, the middle lane doesn’t count. Once you pass, merge back to the right so others can pass you. And use your signal. It’s not hard, just the flick of a wrist.

Finally, a point of contention: Is it polite to high-beam someone when you need to pass them? I say yes, it’s what the Germans do, and they know what they’re doing on the autobahn. Feel free to disagree…

There, I’m done.

Thanks to my compatriot Brian, Part 1 was a great success. It even got picked up on Red Canary. Part 1 also spawned some great discussions whose theses led me to this installment. Product Management…what the heck is Product Management?

Wikipedia defines product management as:

“…a function within a company dealing with the day-to-day management and welfare of a product or family of products at all stages of the product lifecycle.”

Pretty vague eh? Unfortunately, it’s not only Wikipedia that is vague on the subject. Everyone is. Almost everyone you talk to has their own definition of what a good product manager should do. The diagram in the previous post sort of summarizes it: everything. Once again, for the sake of limiting scope, I’ll focus on the software/web app world a la web 2.0.

To me a product manager is ultimately responsible for the success of a product. Success in terms of marketing messaging, features, usability, aesthetics (if it’s not pretty, I don’t want to use it), and revenues/eyeballs (depending on what matters). In the Web 2.0 world, which is the realm of startups for the most part, that means you are

• the product evangelist (blogger, networker, marketing copy writer)
• the UI designer (decide on features, draw up wireframes)
• the babysitter (drive the release schedule)
• the fashionista (work with designers to ensure you get the right look)
• the sales director (keep a close eye on revenue, oversee the sales efforts)

Read the rest of this entry »

Time to switch gears from marriage back to business… Sorry to disapoint, but this IS a blog about our adventures in marriage AND business.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about Web 2.0 product management lately – it’s what I’ve been doing with Nuvvo and it’s also what I enjoy most. There is a lot to think about so I hope to make this a multi post affair. Please let me know your thoughts – things I missed, things I got wrong, things I got right. I left some stuff out intentionally in fear of rambling on too much.l

I decided to start with the big picture: what drives product management decisions and execution? I came up with the super fancy diagram below. Thank you OmniGraffle! The arrow directions represent the flow of information. The length of the line represents how close I feel the relationship should be (frequency of contact, for example). The size of the circles represent their importance to the decision making process for a product manager.

Read the rest of this entry »

Getting married is still cool, I think. Judging from all the reality shows out there you’d think it was. There is (or was) the Bachelor and Bachelorette, Who wants to marry my dad?, The Newly Weds, Meet the Barkers… Even television shows seemingly devoted to the coolness of being single - Sex and the City, for example - seem to be just cover for complaining about not being married. Just marry someone, anyone, if you’re so miserable. Everybody is doing it it seems. Even homosexuals want in on the fun. A lot of them are cool… If you’re not married by your mid-late thirties, everyone assumes something must be wrong with you. If you’re divorced, you’re a failure. A weirdo or a reject, take your pick.

On the other hand, I’ve met a lot of “cool” people who think marriage is a waste of time, and has no real point anymore. The typical view is that a piece of paper doesn’t mean anything. Nothing changes when you get married - especially since almost everyone lives together before they do. Sort of anti-climactic. You don’t need to get married to have sex anymore, or enjoy the legal benefits. 50% of marriages end in divorce, so why risk being called the D word for the rest of your life?

We seem to be in a love/hate sort of place when it comes to marriage. Deep down I think almost everyone really wants to have a life partner, but our expectations are so high we are often disappointed. You can’t have complete freedom to do what you want when you want it AND have someone there for you when things get lonely. You can’t have things your way all the time and not have to put up with your partner’s annoying habits (we all have them…don’t pretend otherwise). We are often too spoiled, impatient, and selfish to make marriage work. We expect our partners to provide us with all we need, and blame them when we’re still not satisfied.

A successful marriage is one where both parties come to the table without their egos. I feel this can only be achieved with complete belief in forever. When you get married forever, there is little point arguing to get your way over small things, lying, cheating, and being selfish. You can’t walk away, and if you do it, you’re stuck with it, always. And that’s the difference between living together and being married. When you believe it (like us Catholics are supposed to), getting married is forever, and promising this in front of all those who matter and before God changes everything, even if you drive home together to the house you’ve lived in for years together afterwards. It’s not really cool, it’s tough. But it’ll all be worth it when I’m old and my boobs and bum sag to my knees and John still finds me the most beautiful woman in the world.

Last weekend, John and I attended his cousin Jenny’s wedding. It was lots of fun - even more so to us because thirty minutes before the wedding, torrential rains began and did not end until several hours after the ceremony. I love big storms, so to me, it added to the atmosphere. I’m sure Jenny didn’t feel that way, however, as the wedding was supposed to be outside on a golf course. Sigh.

Today is a gorgeous day, not a could in the sky, and perfectly warm. Today we’re going to another wedding, my father’s.

My parents divorced when I was 7. I can’t say it was terribly traumatic, for me at least. When I was 3, my dad came to Canada. We didn’t join him here until I was 6. As a result, I was closer to my grandparents than to my dad. I’m sure it was another matter for my mom, who didn’t speak english at the time.

When I was 10 (I think I was 10… memory back then is a tad blurry), my dad re-married, to Malgosia. Yes, it’s a relatively common name in Poland. That marriage ended 5 years ago.

Today, my dad is trying his luck again, and his wife-to-be #3 is a Malgosia too. My family has a very good sense of humour about life, so we’ve all laughed about it (I say this so you don’t feel bad about chuckling to yourself right now!). We don’t dwell in the past, we don’t take life too seriously when it comes to the big stuff (on the other hand, it seems the little stuff consumes us sometimes). My mom is coming to the wedding. I think Malgosia #1 is coming too. Or am I Malgosia #1?

I’m happy for my dad. I have never been jealous of my parents’ new relationships as a child. I never felt threathened. I just wanted them to be happy.

I have a good feeling that the third attempt will be successful. I’ve met her only once, and Malgosia seems like a lovely lady. I’d say something nice about all Malgosia’s being lovely ladies…but the last one wouldn’t quite fit that description. Let’s just say I wasn’t sad to see her go.

Friday night was an interesting night… John and I decided to wind down the week by going to a work/fun event: CaseCamp2. Maybe it was the gorgeous, warm, but not too humid evening. Or maybe it was because the event was being held at the Gardiner Museum which just re-opened and looked quite architecturally interesting. Perhaps it was that the event was at Jamie Kennedy’s Kitchen, another addition to the Jamie Kennedy family of restaurants, all of which we love. Whatever it was, we made the executive (ah-hum) decision to go.

CaseCamp2 was a great event. It’s focus is marketing, which is different from DemoCamp and BarCamp, whose focus is technology. It was generously sponsored by someone quite nice who passed me a cone of french fries (I can’t recall his name but anyone who knows me well knows I don’t remember names well). The wine ($8 a glass) wasn’t included, but you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth right? There were several interesting cases presented, the most interesting of which was by Matt Blackett of Spacing Magazine, who used buttons to help drive subscriptions to his magazines. We’ve got buttons here at Nuvvo…hmmm.

The “celebrity” case of the night was by Andrew Baron of Rocketboom. I don’t really care that much about that entire saga. You can read about it here and here and just about anywhere. What I did take away from Andrew’s talk is that sex sells, and not just in traditional media, but web 2.0 too. I suppose this isn’t that big a revelation (you might be thinking “duh, Malgosia”), but I had this strange hopeful illusion that user-generated content in our little web 2.0 world was more about using new technology to help give everyone a voice, not just putting a pretty face/body in front of us to get us to gawk.

So if sex sells in the web 2.0 world, and Nuvvo is sort of a web 2.0 company, here you go. Anything to drive traffic subscriptions…just DON’T forget to sign-up here when you’re done.

Lastly, in a strange end to the night, John and I climbed into bed with a stranger, in public and outdoors, and talked about monogomy. I don’t even feel like starting to explain what that was all about, I’ll leave it to John.

Nuvvo has joined the ranks of some mighty fine companies and become a sponsor of the Simple Business Workshop. We are hoping to bring the workshop to Toronto in the next few months so get the word out and let us know if there is enough interest here to support it.

Incidentally, it’s nice to see two other Canadian companies listed - DabbleDB (Vancouver) and Shopify (Ottawa). Having just attended DemoCamp7 here in Toronto this past Tuesday, I’m really encouraged by the enthusiasm and geek-savvy of our little community here. We may not have the big names seen down in valley, and we may be chronically under-funded, but we’ve got just as many participants, and just as many good ideas. Go Canada, Go Toronto!

I may be the last blogger on earth writing about BarCamp San Francisco (it was this past weekend and it’s, gasp, Thursday). I do have a good excuse - I was drinking and eating and relaxing in beautiful California afterwards and didn’t feel like it. So there.

I did want to comment on how much John and I enjoyed the event. First off, Tara and Chris were very kind and let us stay with them. While they were off being great sports and camping on the floor of the Microsoft offices (where the event was held), we were comfortably sleeping in their bed. Great job organizing the event guys! And good luck with Citizen Agency.

I think John and I were quite the hit being (I think) the only Web 2.0 married couple there and got coined “Married 2.0“. Let the geek love reign!

The drinks and food were plentiful all around, as were the ideas and amazing atmosphere of openness and sharing. John and I presented on Languify, which is a localization tool for “web 2.0″ companies we’re launching soon (ok, it was mostly John presenting, he’s the uber-geek and I’m just an engineer, and a non-software one at that). More info to come…

By far the best part was meeting so many great people. We hung out with Chris from Sproutit and Dan (who’s moving to Toronto - yay!) and talked about business models, raising money, travel, and just about every “taboo” topic you can think of (religion, politics). I love debates… I also got to learn about Creative Commons (coming soon to Nuvvo), microformats, identity management yadyada. So much cool stuff to do, so little time and skill. Thank God for John.